Boo Portugal!

If the suspense is killing you, I didn’t crush my skull surfing.  I was smart enough to stop after 15 (ok, maybe 10) minutes of paddling through complete shit and headed to the beach bar to enjoy some beers, sun and my new favorite beer snack (not sure what it was, but everyone else was eating it.  It’s like edamame but yellow and small.  Actually, I don’t want to find out what it is because I’m afraid it will disgust me.  Tasted good at the time.  Let’s run with it).   

I don't understand the waves here.  I was surfing with Sha-WOW and the other surf student – a physician from Austria who seems to be even more confused as to how she ended up in this wacky land than I am.  I’m proud of her for having the patience and strength to paddle for 31:26 to get out back.  She’s quite precise and timed it to the second.  I have never paddled more than 5 minutes (+/- 5 mins) to get out back before.  It’s true, my German genes have done me no good although they have fueled a thriving accounting career for my sister.

I don’t care what you think, but I was thrilled when she said she didn’t catch a single wave after trying for 2 hours.  I aborted the right mission in the name of beer, sun and happiness.  I watched those two trying to catch waves and to her credit, it looked impossible.  Why Sha-WOW took us out there is a mystery except he’s named Sha-WOW and somebody probably told him to just do it.  SW, who might be 18 years old, doesn’t appear to have opinions either way about anything.  But at least he seems to know how to drive a car.

I’ve had a couple of people ask what I was expecting on this holiday.  Well, I was expecting this…because it was the photo of the accommodation I was sent:

You might think that some lawsuits will be stemming from this trip.  If only I had the time or energy…

Just never, ever, ever book a trip with Errant Surf – ever.  I’ll post it on facebook and tripadvisor and in the bathroom stalls at work.  Probably better than suing them.  .

Tomorrow Sha-WOWSA invited me to join a beginner’s class which is sure to annoy the hell out of me.  I can only hope the lesson takes place at the beach bar, I don’t care if it’s at 10 AM.

Oh, and about the Weiner Schnitzel – the Austrian’s bailed and went out for pizza.  I said thanks for the kind offer to join them and ran to my bunk bed to eat cheese, bread and 60 cent wine.  My mother has sent me enough articles about ALIEN FORMS OF E COLI FOUND IN SPAINISH LETTUCE to keep me away from all produce during my stay. 

But I do know that I'm going to sleep well!