www.campchristy.com

I finally created a new blog!  


Taking my smart sister's advice, I went with www.campchristy.com.  This is appropriate for many reasons:  I just bought a new cabin in the Wisconsin Northwoods (pictured in the blog), camp is always fun except when it is miserable, "camp" can also mean over the top and exaggerated and you can be in my camp or someone else's - up to you!


But check it out....for a little bit of sunshine.  Awwwwwww.

Joke's on Me

In both London and Amsterdam my desk prominently displayed a battered black and white Dilbert comic that my father had sent me.   It involved Dibert’s colleague conducting a cross functional exploration to hunt down a profession less miserable than Sales.  Punch line:  Marketing was the only other job he qualified for because ‘it’s just liquor and guessing.’

That comic strip gave me confidence that I was doing everything possible to deliver against the fundamentals of my position.

I just received another Dilbert strip in the mail that my dad had clipped on New Year’s Day 2012.  This one didn’t make me feel as smug.  

My life boiled down to a Dilbert comic strip.  

Of course, I was sent to some of the world’s greatest cities – nothing close to dirt stains (although Jakarta was threatened once).   But the rest of it is pretty much dead on.  The most painful reality being the corporate manipulation and schadenfreude of underlings taking place.  Actually, I just really enjoy the word schadenfreude (the years of leadership training must have worked!).

Yesterday Scott Adams, the Dilbert creator and Presidential candidate, blogged about the Yoke of Credibility.   Essentially, Scott believes that credibility makes people dull and cowardly, paranoid over fear of failure.   

As Adams puts it:  “…credibility comes at a high price. Credibility makes you edit your ideas down to what you imagine are acceptable forms. No one wants to slip from being a credible expert to a ridiculous buffoon. That's a steep drop. Credibility makes you avoid risk. It makes you boring, and leaves you too often stuck in the past.”

It makes sense that credibility is not one of Adams core values - he is in the business of not being taken seriously.   But I’d like to believe that credibility performs an opposite function to what Adams states and actually allows a person flexibility to go from “credible expert to a ridiculous buffoon.”  At least, that’s how I justify happily blogging about crotches, groins and Uranus from the comfort of my parent’s home at the age of 35.

Adam's and I disagree on this point, but his illustration of the Corporate World is witty and far too accurate. I just wish he hadn’t waited so long to tell the truth about exclusive Employee Development Programs.  It might have saved me an awful lot of hassle.

Men Are From Mars, I'm from Uranus

There is much to say about Uranus, but little is of interest.   In Greek Mythology, he is the God of the Sky most famously known for being castrated by his son Saturn.  Obviously Uranus is also a planet that experts agree deserves more exploration.  Still, it has been proven to be more of an Ice Giant than a Gas Giant, which of course is a real shocker.  I don’t know about you, but I’m anxiously awaiting explorers to discover future surprises from Uranus.  In the astrological world, it is known for “sudden shocks and changes” as confirmed by “All About Uranus” and my astrologer Omesh.

I first met Omesh in Koh Samui when he told me 2011 was going to be the year of Christy Mommsen.  Unfortunately, that would have been true for someone born at 1:30 PM on February 3, 1977 in Rice Lake, Wisconsin (which is what my mother told me.  I believe at the time she said, “Eh, you were born somewhere around lunchtime.  I don’t really remember).  Luckily during the move I found my birth certificate which recorded 2:32PM as the time of birth.  Although another hour of labor didn’t make much difference to my mom, it sure does in the karmic world.

I had only met with Omesh that one time and decided that another session was due since he was abysmally wrong with my first reading and I was technically born again.

Still in Thailand, Omesh and I skyped for this session followed by an electronic recording of the reading which was super handy because I could transcribe it.  Here is my favorite quote:

 “Uranus is demanding total freedom.  It wants to go to the outside and be wild and crazy.”

This is important information for me to have.

Omesh was consistent in relating to me that I have an extreme and violent case of opposing forces that needs attention  – Saturn (requiring responsibility, rules and restriction) has been battling Uranus (focused on fun loving, free spiritedness).  The good news is that ultimately they are fighting for the same thing – independence.   But in the meantime, Uranus is still seriously pissed at Saturn for castrating him and then throwing his balls into the ocean.

I was relieved to find out that the stars agree NW Wisconsin is a perfect place to stay home and write.  Mercury is here and my Capricorn will be happy. Omesh did mention that, “With Uranus slowly becoming triangle to the moon you may suddenly change locations.  Uranus is always entering abruptly with unexpected change."

He also told me to avoid marriage (probably after reading The Three Biggies) and not to have kids (I didn’t bother adding that one to the list, it was too obvious). 

It was a fact filled session and once again Omesh told me what I wanted to hear. Which is exactly what I pay him for. 

P.S.  After counting, I used the word Uranus 12 times and giggled like a school girl the entire time I wrote this.  Absolutely childish.  Apologies.  My anus, I mean, Uranus made me do it.

Grasping at Straws

Jeff Goin's blog is ranked in the top ten of creative writing blogs.  I'm not sure if that makes him a big deal or not, but his latest post made me feel better about the uncertainty of what in the world to do with my life (besides avoiding the Three Biggies and losing my wallet).


It's encouraging to know Jeff doesn't know what he's doing either and is successful at it. So I will sleep well tonight knowing it is completely acceptable to have no plan for my future and it could actually be a real money maker.  

Then again, at least Jeff has a name for his blog which is something I still need to figure out.  But there's a lot to consider before finalizing a url. For example, Jeff's blog www.goinswriter.com is unique, but at first glance could be mistaken for a groin update.  Maybe it's just because I've been writing about crotches.  


Anyway, I'm following Jeff's advice and that's the plan, Stan.  


(I just checked to see if www.theplanstan.com is available, and sadly it is not.  Need to keep thinking.)

Strong Sniffer

My sister has had a trying string of dying dogs.  Following a series of unexpected deaths and accidents, Betsy and family were recently left dogless once again when their pup, Boy Georgia, surprised them with a brain tumor.  Having lived through so many traumatic pet casualties, Betsy suggested a hedgehog as the next household pet.  She was overruled. 

After poor Georgia died, the kid’s respected a millisecond mourning period which was quickly followed by new puppy planning mode.  And that’s how they ended up with a Chocolate Lab named Boise.

Boise quickly won the hearts of Sophia and Nathan.  So much so that they now refer to him as: “The Dog That Makes Life Perfect.”  Sophia composed a song about it and everything. 

And this is one of those moments to reflect on how lovely it is to be a child. Not only because they have no idea how difficult it is to be an adult, or because they can forget about a dead best friend, but mostly because they don’t realize Boise has a serious character flaw. 

He is a crotch sniffer.

I believe crotch sniffing disqualifies a dog (or anything for that matter) from making the world a better place. 

And my Bana agrees (imagine having your crotch sniffed at the age of 95?):  “The only thing that would make life more perfect is if that dog were dead.”

Of course, the children are not allowed to read my blog, not only because I use the word Fucktard and talk of sniffing privates.  But now because their dear Great Grandmother thinks life would be better if their beloved dog had its snout up someone’s toosh in heaven.

But there is hope for Boise.  I’m convinced he has potential working for the TSA as a sniffing dog.  We all hate waiting in long airport security lines just to have a creepy stranger feel you up before getting on a plane.  But it’s another thing when you have The Dog That Makes Life Perfect check you out.  Seems a bit less intrusive and would probably result in a giggle or too.  And he might save money as well - no doubt the crotch case in Seattle would have gone smoothly if Boise had been involved.  He's a privates sniffer with money making potential!  And that's not just me trying to get rid of him.

http://www.seattlepi.com/local/article/Court-OKs-Sea-Tac-crotch-search-2443626.php

I looked for a picture of Boise with his snout up someone's butt, but we must have deleted all of those with good reason.  This is a photo of Sophia and Nathan in their Lab PJ's to honor The Dog That Makes Life Perfect.  Notice that if Nathan didn't have a vice grip on him, Boise'd be looking to sniff someone's privates.  I'm pretty sure I was the one standing in the corner when this photo was taken.

Miracle Bubbles

There are so many things I love about being at home that I hate to single out one of them. But Happy Hour with my Bana deserves some attention.   As a 95 year old business woman and whiskey drinking poet, I stand to learn a lot from her.

The other day my Bana, who is blind and damn near deaf (her words), made dinner for me which can be a smidge scary.  Turns out her shrimp salad and hash brown is tasty, but her stories are better.  Bana is a story teller extraordinaire and this particular night she was describing 1950’s life in Toledo, Ohio far away from their family while raising 4 kids.  Nothing was going well, and they barely had enough money for food much less new shoes for the children.  My grandfather was out of work and wouldn’t allow her to get a job –that’s how they used to treat women in those days.  The grim story went on for some time and I was searching for positive questions to ask when she paused.  With a dramatic shrug of hunched over shoulders, she nudged her whiskey glass in the air saying “Of course, that’s when we started Miracle Bubbles.”  Then she took a drink.

In case you didn’t know, Miracle Bubbles was a wild success - the kids loved them. Watered down dish detergent packaged with bubble blowing wands was a little piece of genius.  The Bubbles saved my Bana.

While listening, I started thinking …. What would my Miracle Bubble be?

I just read a facebook article on 2012 resolutions that sermonized about the importance of making mistakes.  You know, the whole learning and growing thing.  And I get that.  But romanticizing mistakes is a bit easy for those who have not made enough boo boo’s already or have not made any mistakes at all.  

If it is helpful to experience another year full of bad ideas, I hope they don’t include a repeat of the following Three Biggies:

1.       Getting married

2.       Getting divorced

3.       Pursuing a soulless career in a giant corporation

I realize there are some personal mistakes that are pointless to try and avoid: 

1.       Excessive cheese and wine consumption

2.       Paranoia about my weight and fitness

3.       Losing my wallet

I am a natural for taking life as it comes, but could use a touch of planning, especially for my Miracle Bubble.  I don’t want to make resolutions.  Nor do I want to plan for mistakes.  But I would like to spend more time close to my family and write something that’s published in 2012.

My grandfather sold his stake in Miracle Bubbles less than a year before it was bought for millions.  It wasn’t the jackpot for Bana, but took the family back to Northwest Wisconsin where they eventually acquired an office supply store and my Bana became one of the first successful business women on Main Street. 

One step at a time.



Bana instructing Sophia on how to make the World's Greatest Blueberry Pie.